


One Half Of Two

by phrenitis



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 14:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1391047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phrenitis/pseuds/phrenitis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five Reasons Donna Isn’t in Love with Harvey</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Half Of Two

**Author's Note:**

> Translation into Italian available: [Metà di un intero](http://www.efpfanfic.net/viewstory.php?sid=3370622) by [Nice_Lamia](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Nice_Lamia/pseuds/Nice_Lamia)
> 
> Spoilers: Season Three, _Heartburn_
> 
> Credit again to [iamrands](http://iamrands.tumblr.com/) for finding a prompt that made my eyes light up.

_Five Reasons Donna Isn’t in Love with Harvey_

i.

She never was.

And it’s an important distinction because it’s not about letting go. There’s only what might have been, and life is full of paths not ventured.

“Regret is for when you have nothing else,” her mother would say, and it’s hard for Donna to regret what was never there.

==

ii.

It’s been too long anyway.

While the beginning might have involved developing a talent for deflection from her own confused emotions, time works to her advantage. What is new becomes comfortable and she stops questioning herself, books his dinners as easily as she schedules his meetings.

With their history, trust is only strengthened. And working in such close proximity, it doesn’t take long until their relationship is symbiotic, the rough edges worn smooth. Together they are years of secrets and too many stories told too many times. They become each other’s protection, and they are everything familiar and shared until he matters to her like family, her reputation his.

A lifetime ago she chose not to grab on to the train as it passed, and she has no intention of waiting at a station.

==

iii.

Because there is more to her life than Harvey Specter, thank you very much.

It gets repetitive, the question and her answer unchanged over the years. She does live beyond the walls of the office, beyond immediate reach of her cell phone – there are trips north to visit the family, wine nights and yoga classes, short-term boyfriends and long-term commitments, shopping and weekend getaways to name a few. She also puts in the time and effort to be the best damn legal assistant in New York, and that inevitably comes with speculation.

If Harvey gets asked the same question, there wouldn’t be any need for him to mention it to her. But his answer would be just as short and direct; they have nothing to hide.

It still doesn’t stop her relationships from ending.

“You’ve got to admit,” Rachel says after she buys another commiseration round at the bar, “you two _do_ have history.”

Donna’s just drunk enough to let it matter. “You’re right. I’ll throw myself at him tomorrow.”

“That’s the spirit.”

==

iv.

Truth is, she knows how it ends.

It won’t be infidelity, not with Harvey. He may not have a passing grade in Love 101, but there are some mistakes she knows he’ll never make.

Selfishness, ego, immaturity – these are the hooks that will catch. It will be painful and personal, the break up drawn over long, darkening months that destroy memories until they have nothing left except distance.

She can’t teach Harvey how to be a better man while they’re both treading water together. But from the sidelines, she can help guide Harvey toward what he needs to learn. She is half exasperated with him on Dana’s behalf already, but she wants this chance for him. She’s spent a decade convincing him that he deserves happiness and love, and to see him finally make an attempt is validation enough that he might actually be listening.

She’s always known he would need her.

==

v.

But despite the reasons, it’s not that simple.

“Three months,” he notes casually, pours them each a glass.

She settles on the couch beside him. “And you’re not even sweating.”

“It helps that she’s out of town,” he admits a little sheepishly.

That makes her laugh. “You got off easy.”

“Hey, I can do grand romantic gestures,” he argues.

It raises a sudden flurry of memories, but she lets them fall away without focusing on any in particular lest her thoughts threaten to derail entirely.

“You’d better get one ready,” she warns him. “She’ll be back in sixteen hours.”

“I have a table at Per Se,” he tells her proudly. She can tell by the way he’s relaxed, the corner of his mouth upturned that he’s feeling good.

“Le Bernardin,” she corrects.

“You changed the reservation?”

She nods. “Le Bernardin, trust me.”

“Fine. Dinner at Le Bernardin, then.” He gives her a look. “Anything else I should know?”

“You’re picking her up at the airport,” she adds.

He eyes her as he sips at his scotch, but she makes no apology. They both know her value; he’s successful on multiple fronts because of her.

“To grand gestures,” he says, and tilts his glass to clink into hers.

The scotch softens stray thoughts until they are inconsequential and blurred. “I accept gratitude in check or cash.”

He is wise enough not to comment, but she sees his smile. She rests comfortably against the couch, content. She’s not waiting for anything from him or yearning for change because they’ve put in the years to make sure everything between them works perfectly. 

There is what she wants, and there is what she wants for _him_.

She isn’t _in_ love with Harvey; she _loves_ Harvey.

It’s a complicated nuance. 

 

- _Fin_


End file.
